So you're getting ready to meet that hot guy from online. You're probably feeling excited, nervous, and everything in between. You might be so nervous, you start questioning everything from what you're wearing to if you should even be going on a date in the first place.
Stop! Breathe! Relax!
While the first date can be a little challenging for most people, it can be especially true for gay men who may not be familiar with gay dating, or they've been out of the game for a while.
We've consulted a group of gay men to find out some red flags gay men should keep a watchful eye on when they are going on a first date.
This should be an obvious red flag, but you'd be surprised by how many people will throw caution to the wind and start talking to this guy. Granted, the newly single guy could be an amazing guy, but he may still have some unresolved issues in regards to his ex and that relationship. You have to think if you are willing to deal with any baggage that may be lingering.
This is another obvious red flag, but again, people tend to ignore this one. People chalk their date's flirtiness as it just being part of their personality. Sadly, if you really think about it, any guy who is supposed to be interested in the person they are going out with, they wouldn't be checking someone else out or flirting with anyone!
This could be considered another obvious red flag, but it's still worth mentioning. If he asks to take you to a gay bar, well, this may not be the right guy for you. This also goes for what happens after your first date "activity", and you ask what they'd want to do. If they say "go to the bar", then it may be an indication that he isn't in it for the long haul. Think about it. Your first date is supposed to be your chance to get to know someone. If they want to go to a loud place where there are going to be drunk people and plenty of distraction.. Nope. He's not feeling you.
It's true that alcohol is a social lubricant, it shouldn't be an inebriated. You want your date clear minded, focused, and able to remember the things you guys talk about. Keep in mind, we aren't saying that you have to be stone sober on your first date, we are saying it is a good idea that alcohol is consumed sparingly so that you can see if there is chemistry between you two that isn't influenced by alcohol.
It's understandable that you're going to meet people who have gone through some things in their lives. This doesn't mean you have to date an addict. With that said, you may also want to avoid dating someone who hasn't been clean for a year. Not only do you want to avoid being caught up in their drama should they relapse, but you also shouldn't want to be with someone who could fall back into that unsavory lifestyle.
If the guy you're out on a date with has a bad attitude and treats people poorly, obviously you don't want to be with him because who knows how he will treat you? He's showing you that he's got a jerk streak, even if he isn't aware of how uncomfortable you are.
It's important that when you go out on a first date, you are under no obligation to stick it out. If things get uncomfortable or you are catching too many red flags, make a bee line for the exit. Yes, be kind, but get out, ASAP!